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I received an e-mail giving me thought provoking sayings. They started out with "I Believe". The one that caught my attention was: "I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become". Just think about that.
For a long time I blamed my circumstances as a child, a young adult, and even as an older adult on my family's disfunctions and teachers letting me fall through the cracks for verious reasons. Oops!!!! but I AM responsible for who I become. WOW!! Where did that come from???
I'm learning that dwelling in the past....ohhhh yes, and worrying about tomorrow is such a waste of time and energy. Today is where I need to focus. There is always those pesky obstacles, challenges and yes, those frequent tough decisions to face. I'm learning. Take care of the day at hand.
That doesn't mean I can't make plans for the future. I am planning a week-end with friends the end of October. My brother(whom I haven't seen for two years) is coming for Christmas, meetings to attend and tasks to perform. I still have my daily life that needs to be kept in the day so I can focus at my best.
Yes, "I believe". I am the only one that can make me happy. Most of the time it's all good. But for those moments that lay heavy on my heart? The day that seems extra stressful? I put on my "Attitude of Gratitude". (That's a whole other story). I am blessed beyond my imagination. How about you?
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Isn't it hard to just live in the day? I decided to work on living in the day this year. Today is so important. I am learning from the past, where I must forgive those who have hurt me and ask forgiveness from those I have hurt. Clean up my side of the street so to speak. We all have some baggage we continue to carry around because we can't seem to let it go. It's time to let go and feel good about today.
Living in the present is an exceptional gift. Not only can I take care of the busyness that this society brings on, but I want to enjoy those moments that tend to be so easily thrown away in a split second, because busyness seems so much more important. What is most important in my life? First is my faith. Taking time to know my Father by reading His book, praying and praising Him for all that is good and the security I feel in His love.
Second is my family. I want to spend more time understanding what is most important to them. To enjoy those moments of joy in their lives that I am fortunate to share and observe. We are all imperfect beings and to live in harmony as best we can is a very big challenge. Sometimes not fair and other times so wonderful I can get absolutely giddy.
Third is community. My friends, acquaintances, hobbies, job. I have been truely blessed. I have a strong community of friends. I have my friends I exercise with each morning. I am not very politically minded. They really keep me informed of (their) views and political climate. I have a group of friends I quilt with twice a month. I learn so much from them as they share their talents and expertise in piecing, sandwiching, and quilting. They also(as my other group) share their families and concerns, enjoying our girl talk.
That being said....here is life. Sometimes very humdrum. Get up, go to the gym,come home, go to work, come home, throw in a load of wash, work around the house, have supper, watch TV, go to bed and start over the next day. Sounds pretty simple. Ok...lets back up a little. What I didn't tell you is what happens on those humdrum days. Get up, put on my sweats, put on my sweatshirt (backwards) get to the gym to find I had a police escort following me (just a warning THIS time). I get into the gym to discover I forgot my "clean dry shoes". A group of us go to have coffee (me--hot chocolate) before starting the day. The hot chocolate machine is spitting out chocolate colored water. As for laundry don't forget to empty the pockets. Usually it's ink from my husbands pens, but this time it was lipstick. Those Shout sheets work wonders. Saved the day for me. Then there was the garage door that got slid into and we are waiting for the panels to be replaced. Did I tell you about the ice maker that has malfunctioned? Water all over the floor. Instead of having someone fix the tube leading from under the sink to the refrigerator, the tube has been bent and tied off. The water valve has been shut off. Wonder what that will do in time???
Yes, I think I will enjoy this year living in the day. Attitude. It's all in my attitude.
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I view my life in chapters. I think of their beginnings and how they progress through the many journeys it takes to reach the next. Some of these chapters I wonder if they are ever going to end. Then there are those which I would like to have continued into many more pages than they are. Each chapter is new experiences to learn and hopefully grow to become a better, wiser human being. I have found I learn more from those chapters I think will never end.
While stationed at Maxwell AFB Montgomery, Alabama I became a member of the Women’s (WAF) softball team. We either took a bus or if the trip proved to be time consuming we would board a gutted out Goony Bird (C-47) to play softball against other military personnel. (Just to set the record straight I do not remember how I became a member of the team. I do not have athletic tendencies except for running relays when I was younger.
Three other gals and myself decided to take a road trip one week-end to an Army base and meet up with some gals that we played against during softball season. The night before we were to take this trip I had told them I wasn’t comfortable in taking this trip. But I was convinced that nothing would happen and we would have a good time.
All I remember of that trip is on the way back to our base we all fell asleep in the car and we hit a bridge embankment and only two inches more we would have been in the river. The car (’56 Chevy Impala convertible-mint condition) was bent into an L-shape with the right rear tire wedged between the steering wheel and front seat. The girl who had been driving was thrown into the back seat. We all had injuries. I remember being in the ambulance on my stomach because the glass from the rear window had slashed my back through a medium weight jacket.
To this day I am a believer of my inner being helping to keep me safe.
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4/27/10
Spring! I can see the signs. The snow is actually gone. I see green mixed with the brown in the lawns. Even though the air is still a little crisp I see teens (and some adults) outside walking in short sleeve shirts, mp3’s connected to their ears – with an attitude in their step.
The deck has been cleaned off, patio furniture replacing the three foot drifts, long heavy ice cycles hanging from the eaves making puddles as they slowly disappear and my husband in his shorts, t-shirt and sandals lounging with a book as the rays of a cool sun hit his face. By the way, I’m in the house wearing a sweatshirt, jeans, heavy socks thinking about putting away winter coats for the less bulky, but yet warm outer garments.
I’m starting to feel the urge to clean out closets, wash windows, scale down junk drawers, open windows, and smell the beginnings of a new season.
I see his enthusiasm as he begins mowing the grass, edging, and pruning bushes for the first time this spring as the day brings a smile to his face. We check the damage where the deer have been feasting in our front yard and watch the rabbits scampering around hoping they are just passing through on their way to bigger and better feasting grounds. Now it’s my turn to sweep the sidewalks, pick up and determine the difference between garbage and yard waste.
How is YOUR spring starting?
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2/23/10
Sometimes don’t you just find yourself on silly journeys? These journeys are just good stress releasers? I usually get away at least twice a year for a couple of days. The joy I have meeting people with the same interest I have and just plain giggle and laugh and share for two full days.
I start by preparing my project for the week-end. I look through patterns and pick out fabrics, gather all my tools (I love gadgets). I try to have all the fabric pieces cut and ready to sew back together. Oh! Can’t forget to change the needle in the machine, blow out the dust bunnies with compressed air and fill bobbins so as not to waste valuable sewing time.
Now it’s Thursday night and I am really getting excited. I will be traveling with 4 friends. All that is left is packing a few clothes & toiletries. Now I can set my machine, fabric bag (including gadgets & tools), snacks and beverages by the door.
IT’S FRIDAY!!!!! The Quilt Retreat is only 30 miles down the road. The car is packed and we are on our way. When we reach the shop we start unpacking the car, taking all of our wares to our designated tables, set up our machines and prepare to sew.
Now the fun begins. There are sixteen crazy ladies sewing, conversing and waiting for someone to tell us it’s time to eat. We exercise by walking laps around the shop and finding ourselves starting a tab as we find fabrics and gadgets we just can’t live without.
What a great time had by all. As we pack to head home with more than we came with, we say good-bye to our new friends and thank them for sharing new ideas, new techniques, and all the good times until we meet again.
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Journeys can sometimes be very difficult. December 4th was one of those times. I boarded a plane headed to a suburb of Dallas, Texas. I traveled alone with only my thoughts of what this trip would mean to me these next few days.
She was beautiful. She was sixteen years old when she married my father. This was within a few days of her seventeenth birthday. The picture I remember most vividly is my father in his Coast Guard uniform leaning close to my mother who was sitting on a chair, her 40’s hairdo cascading just above her shoulders and her face showing the radiance of someone very much in love. Her life became very challenging through the years.
As the plane taxied down the runway I gathered my thoughts and my belongings to begin the end of another chapter in my life. As I made my way to the baggage claim area I spotted my step-brother waiting for me at the bottom of the escalator. We loaded the car and he explained my mother’s condition as we made our way through the Dallas traffic to pick up my stepfather at the apartment he had shared with my mother these past three years. After hugs and tears we continued our way to the Medical Center where mom was being kept comfortable as her life with us was slipping away.
My mother was very domesticated. She loved keeping a beautiful house. Everything had its proper place, always painting, cleaning and sewing. She was a wonderful cook and was very particular on presentation. She was always the “in charge” person for family gatherings and holiday meals. She loved planting flowers. And then there were the hours of canning the vegetables from her gardening.
As I stood by her bedside I realized she was no longer with us. I was left to be with her for what would be the last time I would speak to her. I wasn’t even sure what to say. We hadn’t been close. We did share memories, though experiencing our pain in different dimensions. I loved her. She loved me. I will miss her. Chapter closed.
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We DO NOT travel to New York as a tourist. My husband is from East Rockaway, Long Island NY. We haven’t lived there since 1974, so each time we visit we see the many changes that have been made to this wonderful little incorporated village. There is nothing like NY Deli’s with their thinly sliced cold cuts, freshly made early in the morning salads, hard rolls, bagels and a few things I truly wouldn’t eat if they gave them as a bonus. Of course there is only one Deli and that was Lou’s. He made the best potato salad ever. I remember taking the kids to Lou’s, having sandwiches made and heading for the beach. He is one of my fondest memories from long ago. The bakeries are scrumptious, though I believe I could gain weight just taking in the aromas of fresh baked breads and pastries I can only get on Long Island along with other wonderful delicacies.
I can’t help but get caught up in the fast pace of their everyday living and just being busy, busy, busy. No, we did not go to the big parade or the preliminary activities of watching the rigorous routine of blowing up all those fantastic character balloons. The parade route was changed some this year and had more corners to go around. The change was the big talk this year. It’s amazing how the floats and balloons are maneuvered around those corners without incident.
We flew in to JFK on Tuesday morning and had a relaxing day. Saw brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, ran errands and started lists with the master of all list makers, my sister-in-law, Arlene. Thanksgiving was to be at our nephew’s (Scott) house. Arlene had to work on Wednesday, as did Scott. So early Wednesday morning my husband, brother-in-law and I went to Scott’s house with “The List” to get ready for the Thursday festivities.
My husband was in-charge of the blue pieces of tape. That meant anywhere he saw tape he would paint. But of course as my husband is who he is, he touched up places that he thought needed extra attention whether there was tape or not. Bob (the brother) was assigned the job of installing a new outside door. Bob can do anything. He is a very talented man. There was a special language that went along with this particular application which was altered when his grand-daughter showed up to help with the project. My part of the do list was cleaning. There was the kitchen with the island that could be moved for convenience, the granite counters and the sliding glass doors to reach the deck. The bathroom with the towels rolled and placed neatly on the shelf; the dining room with its beautiful table that stretches the length of the room on polished wood flooring and the window blinds that needed dusting. So, now we are ready for the big day.
Everyone brought their favorite part of the meal. Turkey with all the trimmings and pork roast from Iowa. Pies, pastries and lots of football watching on the TV put out on the deck off the kitchen. Yes, the weather was gorgeous.
I love Long Island, the ocean, being with family and being caught up in the nostalgia. I love all the quaint little shops from East Rockaway to Montauk Point. I have lived in Germany, Alabama and have experienced cruises, volunteering in Haiti, and yet – my best memories are rooted on Long Island, New York.
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I think a lot about my experience in Haiti at God’s Littlest Angels Orphanage. I left my heart with those beautiful children. I think about them everyday and how all they want is the chance to be loved and to live with their “forever families”.
I can still see the depth in their eyes watching me as I would go into the nursery, wondering if their turn had come to go to the balcony to be cuddled, or have a special hour of playtime. I can feel their little hands surrounding my body as they try to get my attention.
I can still smell the powder and lotion that the nannies so lovingly put on the children’s skin for protection from becoming dry from the hot weather the Haitians experience each day.
I think about the struggles the staff has providing the everyday needs, not only for the children but also transportation available for appointments, airport runs and errands. To keep the generators operational for refrigeration and incubators in the intensive care area is so very important. It is overwhelming the amount of money it takes to keep these children in a healthy and safe environment.
The rent for the baby and toddler houses amounts to $41,000 a year. Food is $30,000 a month. Each child in the baby house uses an average of 5-6 diapers a day. The funding for the orphanage is strictly through donations and fund raising.
GLA has purchased land and have begun building a facility to house all the children under one roof. They build when they have money for the project. Right now they are out of money for this very important need, so the construction is at a stand still. The new facility will eliminate the rental fees which would free up $41,000 for the many necessities needed in other areas.
I hope I have made a difference in these children’s lives. They certainly made a difference in mine. Learn more about God’s Littlest Angels by googling GLA-Haiti. The journey is up to you.
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I went to Haiti with no expectations - only knowing I would be working with the children (ages - newborn to around 2 1/2) in the baby house. For a little background - these children have come to GLA because their parents have died of Aids or other diseases. A father brought in a new born with some health issues. The baby was taken to the nursery where the full time nurse put her in an incubator. She will stay until she is healthy enough to go back home.
The first two mornings the volunteers were asked to help take pictures of the children in the baby house. Pictures are taken once a month to send to the Forever Families (adoptive parents who are waiting to take the children home) and notes are also sent on their progress. Our job was to bring the children to the balcony, put them in dress up clothes, and keep them entertained until their turn to be photographed, change them back into their everyday clothes, take them back to the nursery and bring another child up for the same routine. It was like playing with living dolls. This was very exhausting. We brought them up two flights of concrete stairs and back down two flights of concrete stairs.
Each volunteer was given a sheet with a picture and brief description of eight children they were to work and play with during their stay at the orphanage. We were to take each child for one hour up to the balcony where there were toys and plenty of space to run around or rock the babies. And that was a full eight hour day. I found I could easily get attached to these beautiful children.
There were 107 children at the baby house while I was there. There was one Haitian nanny per eight children. These nannies work 4 twenty-four hour days and off two. They don't leave the nursery. They sleep in the same room with the children, eat with the children, as well as changing diapers, wiping noses and caring for them as we all do our own children. They were wonderful women and I truly admired their fortitude. The journey continues.
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A year ago I became part of a group planning a trip to help in an orphanage in the Kenskoff mountains of Haiti. During this year the five women and two men met once a month to learn about each other as well as learning about this third world country that is shared with the Dominican Republic. We learned a few words and phrases in Creole French. For me that was very few. I learned how to say "non merci" very politely to the Haitians who were more than willing to take my luggage when we landed at Toussaint Louverture International Airport, Port Au Prince. I could say good morning and good afternoon. The orphanage staff sent us basic information to prepare us for our stay. We planned a plant and bake goods sale at our church. The funds made from this endeavor was part of our gift to the orphanage.We also had a baby shower where people could donate diapers, baby powder, soap, shampoo and many items from a wish list we asked the orphanage to send us.
Our first great adventure was the trip from the airport to the orphanage. We weaved in and out of traffic through the capital city honking, but not stopping unless absolutely necessary. The streets were littered with mounds of garbage and considering the temperature I can say having the windows closed was a blessing.
The roads were narrow and pitted with six to ten inch potholes. The car swerved as we leaned from one side to the other winding through the mountianeous countryside. The land looked very rugged and with the density of the population overcultivated. What a great feeling pulling up to the mansion known as "God's Littlest Angels" (GLA), getting out and stretching our legs. As I looked up towards the balcony above me I see these beautiful smiling faces peering through the bars. Another adventure begins.
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